BEING A BOY MOM MEANS…
… Chances are high that they will have nicer eyelashes than you.
… A crazy amount of time will be spent clipping their weed-like fingernails, even though your own nails don’t grow worth a crap. Not to mention, finding yourself wondering WTF is underneath their fingernails today and if you can handle it with just some warm water and soap or if it calls for sanitizing and disinfecting
…. You will get peed on… multiple times… and for sure, in the face once.
… You will quickly realize spending money on those little PeePee TeePee was a complete waste. Unless you care to see just how far your son’s urine can propel a tiny, soggy cone of fabric across the room. <– All that said, a lot of times they just manage to pee right on their own heads.
… Conversations that you hear (and, against your will, are a part of sometimes) about farts and poop happen more often than anyone would ever feel comfortable admitting.
… Little-boy funk-smell kicks in sometime around age 3. It smells like a combination of sweaty pits and granola bars.
… A boy’s instinct to turn random objects into: guns/arrows/blasters/lasers/phasers/cannons/swords/lightsabers/ramps etc. is something they are born with. DON’T worry about it too much. DO buy helmets, though.
… While they are still fairly young, you will find yourself purchasing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, MARVEL, and/or sports related apparel. All in hopes of discretely gaining some sort of acceptance. And then, of course, to be included (by their standards) in the “coolest mom ever” category.
… Even after many mature, frank discussions about body parts and the differences between boys and girls, you will definitely be asked — loudly and publicly — about your own lack of a penis and whether or not you pee out of your butt. (<— if I had gotten a nickel for every time one of my boys asked me this while in the bathroom stall with me)
… At some point, you’ll have to sack up and send them into the mens’ room by themselves. This is both freeing and horrifying at the same time.
… Making decisions when clothes shopping will be based on inexpensive items and how well it will hide stains.
… When you wear a dress, “it makes you look beautiful, Mommy” comes from that sweet little voice. A sparkly necklace or a single sequin on your shirt earns you an upgrade to princess. “Your hair looks great. Mommy, your hugs are nice. Your cuddles are the best. I wuv you, Mommy.” #heartmelts
Ugh, boys are so darn awesome, it hurts.
I can tell you, I never would have imagined that I would be calling myself “boy mom” and I will admit, each time I was pregnant, I was hoping for a sweet baby girl. (I am such a girly-girl, how could I not want a little mini-me to be my new shopping and mani/pedi BFF?!) Each time I heard the words “It’s a boy!”, I would let out a big, deep sigh. Be sad for all of about 2 minutes and then hype myself back up because, just having a baby in general is such an amazing blessing, regardless of the gender. 🙂
It wasn’t until about 1 year or so ago that I totally REALLY started embracing this whole “boy mom” persona. Let me just say, mothers of boys are strangely laid back about property damage and body-filth levels. In fact, property damage is to boy moms what frequent costume changes are to girl moms. A golf club through the drywall, a child through the drywall, a baseball shattering your bedroom window because your 6 year-old suddenly decided to channel his inner dreams of being in the MLB but his arm still throwing like a 6 year old(as hard as possible with very minimal accuracy), and a basketball game ending triumphantly with glass showering down from the ceiling lights. That’s just what being a boy mom is. It’s knowing the phone number of the window repair company by heart, and not having to tell them your address when you call.
Even though, as a boy mom, I won’t go prom dress shopping. I won’t help pick out flowers for the wedding centerpieces. I won’t be in the delivery room when I have grandchildren. Never will I ever sit on a toilet before thoroughly inspecting it first. But the tender moments and sweetness of little boys, the way they grab your heart with their dirty little hands and never lets go, can’t even compare to anything else that I will miss out on with having a daughter. And because of that, I will strive to raise kind, conscious, able, God fearing, young men.
Are you a boy mom? What are some “boy mom” instances that you have experienced in your mom life?! I would LOVE to hear about them!